I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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