Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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