Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
