my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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