the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
