This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
