And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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