And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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