So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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