Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
