So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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