a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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