I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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