I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
