All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
