i need an iv and a liver transplant
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
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