listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
