Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize