I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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