youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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