Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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