Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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