i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I just got carded by a ten year old.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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