There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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