You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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