I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
