tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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