i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
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Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
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So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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