hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize