im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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