i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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