I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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