I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
as a side note pls kill me
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
