I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I smell stomach acid.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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