Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
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i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
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When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.