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• (214): View more from Texas

  New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!

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• (406): View more from Montana

  he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.

  (518): View more from New York

  I am in love with you.

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• (562): View more from California

  Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night

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• (845): View more from New York

  I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"

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• (219): View more from Indiana

  All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights

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  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

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• (360): View more from Washington

  I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.

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