Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

Define "chronic" masturbator.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.

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(310): View more from California

the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.

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(260): View more from Indiana

My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck

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25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Read it at the TFLN blog
(317): View more from Indiana

All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...

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(706): View more from Georgia

He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times

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(310): View more from California

I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole

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(618): View more from Illinois

In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.

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