I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
