I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
