He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
