It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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