You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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