Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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