he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
She told me I should be a condom model.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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