if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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