Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
