1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
