Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
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sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
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I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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