i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
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