Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
