so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
organizing the empties. That sober.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
