So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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