if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
