I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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