just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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