just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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