I don't usually arrange sex via text message
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
