Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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