oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
