Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
