Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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