Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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