i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
