Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
